resources

Consensual Non-Monogamy Starter GUIDEs: 

• Polysecure by Jessica Fern

• Building Open Relationships by Liz Powell

• The Polyamory Toolkit by Dan Williams and Dawn Williams

• More Than Two - Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert: practical considerations about navigating the emotional terrain of open relationships (Disclaimer: read Franklin Veaux and Polyamory’s #metoo)

• Opening Up by Tristan Taormino: structural considerations for switching to an open relationship

• The Ethical Slut by Dossie Eaton and Janet Hardy: the original treatise on ethical non-monogamy

more great CNM Books:

• Love’s Not Color Blind by Kevin Patterson

• The Jealousy Workbook by Kathy Labriola: do-it-yourself therapy for working with jealousy

• Jealousy Survival Guide by Kitty Chambliss

• Relationship Anarchy Manifesto by Andie Nordgren

• The Polyamorists Next Door by Dr. Elizabeth Sheff - compiled research about polyamory

• Stories from the Polycule by Dr. Elizabeth Sheff - stories from people living ethically non-monogamously

• Power Circuits: Polyamory in a Power Dynamic by Raven Kaldera

pleasure and sex ed

• Come As You Are by Dr. Emily Nagoski

• Pleasure Activism by Adrienne Marie Brown

• OMGYes: The Science of Women’s Pleasure

• Sex Outside the Lines: Authentic Sexuality in a Sexually Dysfunctional Culture by Chris Donaghue

• Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, How We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha: monogamy and polyamory evolutionary psychology

• Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel

• Scientists Just Confirmed What We Already Knew - The Clitoris is GREAT by Teen Vogue

Great READS FOR EVERYONE

• The Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown

• Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin

• Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson

• Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski

• The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk

• Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine

• My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Healing Our Minds and Bodies by Resmaa Menakem

Poly- and sex-positive Podcasts:

• Poly Weekly with Cunning Minx

• Multiamory

• Tristan Taormino's Sex Out Loud

• Sex Nerd Sandra

Polyamory Comics:

• Kimchi Cuddles
  
  

articles and posts:

• 5 Wonderful Things About Slow Relationship Beginnings by Love Uncommon

• Facebook Polyamory Group: Go Slow by Aggie Sez

• Committed to You: On Fluidity in Relationships

• Relationship Anarchy Smorgasbord Chart

• Tips for How to Treat Non-Primary Partners by Aggie Sez at SoloPoly.net

• But What Does Solo Poly Even Mean? by Joreth

• What is Couple Privilege? by Polyamory for Us

• How to Have a Threesome Without Hurting Anyone’s Feelings by Tikva Wolf

• BDSM Test

• Relationship Skills: A Checklist by Aggie Sez

• I’m in Love with You But It’s No Big Deal

• Demisexual, Cupiosexual, Aromantic: The Many Different Forms Of Asexuality

• So, Somebody Called You a Unicorn Hunter? by David Noble

• Triads Are Advanced Polyamory Not The Beginner Starter Poly Package by Joreth with Evita Sawyers

• The Only Poly People You’ll Ever Date by Ada Powers

• Yes, Abuse Can Show Up in Polyamorous Relationships – Here Are 7 Red Flags to Watch Out For

• Multiamory’s Triforce of Communication

• Intro to Mixed-Orientation Marriages

• Off the Relationship Escalator’s Resource List

• The Difficult Balance of Intimacy and Independence: Beloved Philosopher and Poet Kahlil Gibran on the Secret to a Loving and Lasting Relationship

• Video: A Polyamorous Couple’s Guide to Sleeping With Multiple Partners

• Video: Brene Brown on Blame

• How to Grow the Fuck Up: A Guide to Humans by Mark Manson

• The Most Skipped Step When Opening Up a Relationship (Disentanglement) by Polyamory School

meeting people in the triangle:

• Feeld

• OK Cupid

• Triangle Polyamory Meetup

• FetLife - Kinky social media. Not intended as a dating site - meet people at the events listed and friend them later.

• Sloshes and Munches are great places for kinky people to meet. Details can be found on Fetlife. Ponysaurus in Durham has a well-attended regular meetup every Monday night, 8-10pm.